When we think of relationships we always think of the flowery moments that the movies and television shows depict and we never really want to think about those tough times. The tough times that we do think about likely involve us or common relationship issues.
The fact of the matter is that some of the toughest times in a relationship may not be associated with the relationship at all, but with the loss of a parent or other family member. Dealing with grief is difficult and when your spouse is grieving you need to be as supportive as possible. This will bind you together in a whole new way and leave you feeling closer than ever despite the loss you are feeling.
It can be difficult when your spouse is grieving to understand what they are feeling if you have not had such a loss before. It's important when your spouse is going through the grief process not to try to understand their pain, but to support them and let them know that you are there to help them get through it. Everyone grieves differently and you trying to understand or limit their pain may actually make things worse between you two. All your spouse will want is the knowledge that you are there for them.
The worst thing you can do is tell your spouse that they shouldn't be as upset as they are. This will make them feel alone and perhaps very angry at you. Don't just their level of pain or grief, just support them and let them know that things will get better, and when they do that you will be with them.
Another thing that you should avoid doing is saying, "Aren't you done yet?" or something to that effect. Some people grieve hard and fast while other people grieve for a long period of time. There is no right or wrong way to do it and the worst thing you should do is rush the process. Not only will this impact your spouse negatively later on down the road, it will make them resent you for trying to rush the process.
Of course, grief can often go too far as many people become depressed after they have experienced the loss of a loved one. If your spouse has gone through the normal grief process and is still having a difficult time getting out of bed, isn't eating, doesn't want to socialize, and is not living up to their responsibilities you will want to suggest that they get professional help. Grief is a process, but if not controlled it can turn into depression that can easily be debilitating and life changing.
About the Author:
Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert.